literature

Melvin's Inner Thoughts

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Literature Text

Is it so much to ask to be loved?

I know I’m an idiot. I know I say and do dumb things. Doesn’t mean I’m not smart enough to know when people are mad…

And people seem to be mad at me a lot. Hmm, maybe that’s how I learned to take insults so well. My earliest memories are of my older sister yelling at me for doing something stupid.

So, I’m used to it. I can take when people get mad and yell. More often than not, I guess I deserve it. Still… why do I still want love?

Yeah, yeah, I cover up well with all my jokes and weird behavior… but I am a human being. Er, well, human being from another planet… who’s been turned into a mirror… but you get the point. I’m human. I just want to be loved.

I may act like nothing but a pervert, only after one thing, but I honestly would prefer to have one girl I could truly love than all the sexy babes in the world. Trouble is… what girl will put up with me?

I’m so weird and annoying and obnoxious and dumb… Now honestly, what girl worth having is going to be with me long before I do something really stupid and she figures out she can do better?

And then there’s friendship. Heh… I’ve got friends, of course. But they all think of me as “the dumb one,” or “the one to avoid. People find out I’m coming, they have to prepare for me like they were expecting a disaster. I don’t think I have any friend that would seek me out, just to hang out and talk, share secrets, have lunch… even just say hi. I’m too much a burden to have friends like that.

But, hey, I’m the idiot, the clown, the dork, the comic relief of the universe. Comes with the job.

…so why do I still long for more?

Why do I lie awake at night, kicking myself for things I said? Why do I look at people, wondering just how bad they wish they were anywhere but with me?

And why… why do I dream of one person… just one person in this whole universe… who I could be important to? Just one person who would live for being with me, who would miss me every minute I was gone, and be glad for every minute spent with me…

Why can I so clearly picture someone… anyone… who could see me walk into a room and have their face light up like a little kid on Christmas… who would run to me excitedly, shouting “yay, it’s my Melvin!”

…Why do I cry whenever I dream of that… and remember it’s not going to happen…?

Heh, but what the heck am I doing? I’m being such a downer! Dude, that’s not me! I’m the funny guy, remember? I’m not supposed to let this stuff get to me.

Yup, that’s me, Melvin the mirror, the funny magic mirror with no brains. And I guess that’s all I’ll ever be to anyone…
I've always wanted to write out the personal, inner thoughts of my original characters, to show the sides of them you don't see in the pictures and fanfiction. I've spent years molding them into full, well-rounded individuals, but I usually only get to show certain traits. Also, there's a lot of me in each of my OCs.
Now, take Melvin, for insance. He is, without a doubt, the dumb one, the comic relief and the fall guy in almost everything I've portrayed him in. But he's got a very big heart, and a lot of love to give. Sure, it's funny to see him do dumb things and get beat up for it... but imagine how lonely it must be to be "the idiot."
Also... well, I did this after a certain incedent tonight I'd rather not discuss, and after a very in-depth discussion with my friend Serena on the subject of loneliness, both of which brought out some of my own feelings through Melvin... ^^;
Yeah... sometimes I feel like that, like I'm just not that important to people. Oh, don't get me wrong, I know I'm loved. Just...
Ah, anyway, I hope you enjoy this glimpse into Melvin's mind. I'll be writing more like this, about my other characters. Who do you think I should pick next? ^ ^

Melvin the Mirror and this piece of writing are (c) to me, *Dragon-Wing-Z
© 2009 - 2024 Dragon-Wing-Z
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nesilverwing's avatar
Aww, poor Melvin! :hug: Don't be sad. I'll be your friend! ^_^

I can actually relate to this. I thought it was amazing how you said you had an in-depth discussion with a friend on the subject of loneliness, because I did too, at one point, and then I almost got my wish to not be lonely... but that one wasn't meant to be. :shrug: Guess I just haven't found my One. ^^

I really like this idea though, of writing out characters' inner feelings? It's very nice. ^_^